A hole in my heart

My great-aunt Joan Williams died this evening of an apparent sudden heart attack. She's pictured here in 2006 helping Jack peel some boiled eggs at her home in Austin, Nev. that she shares with my Uncle Poncho. Her impact in my life was profound. Her unconditional love, love of God and ability to listen were wells from which I drew strength more often than I can say. She was a woman who gave strong hugs, who had a cheerful demeanor, a love of fashion and a love of jewelry that might just border on obsession. She was a busy body who's concern for others could make her seem overbearing, but in truth, it was just her way of trying to make things right in the world. A mother of two boys, grandmother to seven, aunt to many, loved by all.

I can't even begin to jot down the stories of my life with her in it. I think of her and I see Puppy the Chihuahua, Buick vehicles, Siamese cats, JEWELRY, the forever diet, my first trip to Lake Tahoe, staying at their house before my first night in my new college apartment and she and Poncho insisting on taking their old TV so I wouldn't be lonely. Black pearl graduation gifts from 8th grade on. Sleepovers during basketball tournaments in Smith Valley. Late night visits. Perfect nails. Loving family history. The coffee ladies. My family churchgoing buddy. Piano. Her great pride in being taller than me sitting down.

Oh, there are so, so many things. It makes me cry to sit and think of all the moments we had together, and how living across the country tempered the contact.

But here is something I know: "And that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy." Doctrine & Covenants 130:2

I will miss you more than you know, Auntie Joan. Godspeed.