I'm feeling a bit sad this evening. In the room right above me, Jack and Ellie are asleep for the first time in twin beds in the same room. For a while, I've thought Ellie was ready for the move to a big girl bed. She has been in her crib in our tiny nursery for her entire 22 months while Jack has slept on the bottom bunk of his bunk beds since six weeks before she was born.
It was a lot harder convincing Jack to go to the big bed. He was really excited about the bunk beds when they showed up at our house with the ladder, the drawers and shelves on this particular bed. But when push came to shove, he spent two weeks begging to go back to the "baby bed" before he finally slept in his big boy bed.
Tonight, Bob and I finally tore the bunks down so the kids could sleep in the same room. I just haven't felt right about letting Jack sleep up top just yet. He's going through a major fear phase and won't go to the bathroom in the middle of the night (or the middle of the day, for that matter) without one of us with him. Thus, our only option was to split the beds. It's not perfect, but until he's a little older, a little more confident getting up at night, split they will stay. This will allow Robbie to move from the bassinet by our bed to the crib and allows Ellie, of course, the option of a big girl bed.
The kids were so excited as everything got moved around and immediately started
bouncing on what is Ellie's bed. She was so excited, so thrilled to be with her Jack. For some reason, her eagerness and the empty crib just made me a bit sad. I don't know if it's because the reality that they don't stay small hit me so forcefully or that she is so independent, she didn't need me like her brother did. Whatever it is, I am happy with a slightly heavey heart tonight.
We had our normal bedtime routine of bed and books and then putting them down. This is where the challenge arose. I see several more days of Ellie being drunk on freedom, running down the hall, getting up to play with the train track already winding it's way out the door. Giggling and singing "I Am a Child of God" to her big, soft doll that she insisted sleep with her. There was a tussle over light on or off. Ellie is used to sleeping in the dark while Jack is afraid of both the dark and shadows and can't decide which is worse. Tonight, keeping Ellie in bed, thus, minimal (one night light), won. I couldn't figure out who to snuggle with to sing what my kids call "the baby song," otherwise known as "Baby Mine" from "Dumbo." They love that song, and usually, I cuddle Ellie and sing it to her before bed, then I go lay with Jack and sing it to him before he sleeps. In the same room, I sat in the middle snuggling no one, singing and trying to figure out how to make that right for everyone. I only had to wrangle her to back into bed about five times. :) Jack narrated the whole event, commenting at each escape that "maybe Ellie wants to sleep in your bed," Jack code for "I want to sleep in your bed...again."
Forgetting my silly saddness, the move has already had one positive effect. As we were settling down for books tonight, Jack said he was happy to have Ellie in his room.
"Now I won't be scared anymore," he said.
And as I finally wrangled them into bed after an hour of chasing Ellie and putting her back down, she looked up and just said, "Jack?"
And he looked across the room and said, "Mommy, I need Ellie here with me."
She's there. Both of them are. Sound asleep in their twin beds.
